Shit People Say

Oh the Things People Say to me when I am pregnant I simply must share this.

So true story here, Q and I met with a pediatrician and afterwards we decided to go for a walk around the neighborhood.

An elderly man was walking by and said “whoa you are huge!” and as if that wasn’t enough he went on to say “you must weigh 500 lbs” and he added “What do you got in there, triplets?”! Sigh, having lived in NYC for over 10 years now I have seen people do street magic or street art. This man does street gynecology! Poor old bastard is probably a lonely old man (gee I wonder why). I definitely would not pick him as my partner for Bingo night.

I am adding this incident to the many strange things people have said to me over the past nine months. For example:

I was on my way to lunch (for the record I was getting a salad) and I passed a woman with a stroller that said “you are about to pop!” How nice of her to notice this and to make me aware. Little did she know I was only around 7 months at the time, she should see me now!

In the elevator of my building at work I was once again going downstairs to grab lunch and the elevator stopped at the 8th floor where a man entered and said very loudly “wow you’re very pregnant” well yes sir, you are quite observant nothing gets past you. You must work for the CIA. He went on to say that “my belly is very large and the baby must weigh 10 lbs” (he doesn’t he only weighs 6 actually and I was 37 weeks). Thanks asshole.

Here is my favorite though, when shopping at Lord & Taylor a woman said she knew I was carrying a boy because my nose wasn’t too big. She is right I am having a boy. I have never heard about the nose thing but I am just glad she said it wasn’t big. I wanted to give her a hug. Everything else is big but I am thankful that at least my nose isn’t growing because everything else seems to be and people are not shy in letting me know.

It’s all about perspective people, my ass and belly may be huge but my nose hasn’t changed. It’s the small things. I am grateful and I love that woman. I will have to shop at Lord & Taylor more often. I’ll powder my nose before entering so it looks extra svelte. It’s all I got these days, I better work it.

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